Saturday, September 15, 2012

Oregon Warrior Dash 2012

i finally did it.3 years in and i got some friends to join me and i have pics as proof! hopefully they will talk others into joining. i know i got one more possibly doing it. signing up right after the race for next year gives a huge discount if you get in under their two week sale.

this year i finally wore a costume. i have always wanted to run dressed as an aztec warrior or an indian in just a loin cloth. the first year none of my family wanted to do it with me. last year no one wanted to do it with me. i looked at the clothes of aztec warriors and they wore animal skins like jaguars or made eagle headsets. the strongest fought in some elaborate outfits.

a few examples of what i mean

this year i was in LA and looked for some aztec outfits on Olivera st. i found one. $85 for a costume. no thanks. can't afford that. Jen said something about costumes and i said i would wear a loin cloth if i had one. stupid me. she of course took that as a challenge and started scouring the internet for ideas. i told her anything i wore had to be double secured so it didn't come off and scare any women and children that would be present. she was disappointed as her plan was to rig it fall off in the water and be there for the show.

after looking online and seeing some videos i told her i'll just go with a simple one. folds over from the front to the back with some underwear underneath for back up. not to difficult to make and with a rope belt it was surprisingly secure. the underwear made from the same material were for back up but worked to keep the mouse in the house.

race day. Dan came over with his family to pick me up. Jen was there and i was dressed in my, uh hum, loin clothe. i put some clothes on over it, after scaring Dan's son Lucas. Dan was painted up as a zebra warrior. he has his face and/or feet painted for every race. he brought along his paints so i could do my face and we could put the Barefoot Runners' on our backs along with a barefoot outline.

we took two cars because i wanted to stay and play. Dan had house work and his dad visiting from the old country. he wanted to stay and play but couldn't. the plan was to run it twice. my blood blistered feet said otherwise. not even the cheap alcohol made that discomfort go away.

after getting our numbers i undressed and announced to everyone " here's the money shot!". i heard laughter, a few gasps. i think a woman fainted. nevertheless it was time to bare it all.
waiting on Jen so we can get in the chute.

prerace. before Jen's freak out.

getting our backs done. with my dog getting nervous from all the people.
 Jen didn't tell her husband she signed him up for this, once again. we could have given his number to someone else but too late when we're already there. i'm sure we all have our prerace rituals. i poop at least twice before i leave my house. Jen didn't. she tried while we waited for her but people kept banging on the door and ended up knocking her water bottle down the porta potty. not someplace you want to dig into. how can you relax like that? she's a little high strung i tried to calm her down and told her we had plenty of time. half an hour.

i ran to my car because i forgot the paint in there. i wanted my back done up and Dan and Jen joined in. i wanted no question that i was barefoot. people did ask me if i was barefoot barefoot or barefoot shoes. i told them there's barefoot and then there's shoes. nothing in between. one guys girl heckled him for that. i think they're in the photo where we're all rinsing off in the "showers".

Jen had time to calm down. she was also freaking out about the race. she didn't do any strength work like she wanted. procrastination is a bitch. we got our backs done. walked Dan's family close to the finish line. dropped our bags near a tree and some other people. left my dog with Zdenka. then we got into the chute. i tried to wiggle up close but we barely made it in the chute. i think they allowed 450 people per wave. they don't count or check anyone but it was a lot of people. we had a decent spot and waited for the start.

the music was going, they shot the fire and we were off. i yelled when i crossed the start line. i yelled quite a few times. mostly when i conquered obstacles. they were a bit easier this year. everyone was saying the hills were more brutal than last year. i don't really remember because i was in bad shape last year. my time was 30s slower than last year yet i place higher. imagine that. 39.21 compare to 38.54. 816 out of almost 6000 this year and last year was 869 out of some 5500. slight improvement for me.

i definitely felt better this year. i wore my garmin. it again grossly miscalculated my distance. oh well. i kept up with Dan for most of it. i finished less than 5 minutes behind him. he didn't put his chip on. forgot. i had to walk up the hills at the end and of course i bombed all the downhills. Dan and Jen did also. after the second obstacle Dan got in front and i heard these young girls say "look, that guy is bf". i passed and then heard "so is that guy. haven't they heard of bf shoes?". ha! i wasn't slowing down to be a smart ass this time.

we climbed the bridge and there was this girl who went down facing the ladder while everyone else went on their back. i copied her and made it down fast. i already had a comment from the volunteers about my lion cloth. this time i passed a cute young girl who was yelling. i let out a yell. said something to her. thought about high fiving her but didn't. well, i also thought about grabbing her ass as well as a few others but i restrained myself. she looked at me when i ran past her and yelled out "you'll be more aerodynamic if you take that thing off!". i patted my love handles and yelled back "this is slowing me down".

i told a few of the young volunteers they shouldn't be looking at me because they were too young. i don't think they cared or maybe they weren't interested in looking at me as much as laughing at me. maybe they couldn't tell how old i am with the war paint on. i put a black hand across my face to signify power and good at hand to hand combat. red for peace and power. white, i don't remember why. blue water or lightening bolt on my forehead for speed. next time i will put the paint on at home and not in the car. the hand didn't look like much of a hand.

i remember Dan and i got to the wall with the rope climb about the same time and made it over the same time. i got there after some guy and was down before he got up. ha. we ran and i think he pulled away here. with no video i can't remember everything. i will attach a video at the end you can watch. you can also compare it to last year's race which i blogged about.

well what i remember is seeing Dan go through the barbwire. by the time i got there he was done and out of sight. Jen we had left behind at the beginning. i heard a woman yell to someone to go to the left and roll under it, so i did. i couldn't see if the guys behind me did as well but i was dizzy by the last one so i just crawled. i got out and walked until i could run. about 5 seconds.

on we went. i got to the cargo net and saw a guy running along the middle on a beam. i saw a woman try to stand and fall through the net. there were quite a few people crawling across it. i remember watching the video from last year where some kid just ran across all the rope. this guy ran on the beam so i copied him.

after that it was fairly uneventful. i wasn't passed by too many people. those that did i ended up passing again. the obstacles were fairly easy. there was one with about four logs half buried in the ground and you had to bear crawl under them. they were too close together to stand up. i got out easily and walked then ran. some guy started talking to me saying "the people who made that must have been over 5'5". they didn't plan on short people." i looked over and he was maybe 5'2" and buff. i laughed. whatever works.

after that was some ridiculous hills. i had to walk a few. there were some steep ones. going up some woman yelled at me " a real man would be naked". i could only laugh. some other guy said i must be tough. i looked at him and asked him i looked tough. no reply. i guess the face paint may have covered up my still somewhat pretty face.

the woman wound up passing me uphill and yelled at her friend " i told you i would pass him Jackie, now he's going to let me wear it." she smiled and i laughed. i told her wait for the downhill. when we went downhill i passed her and told her " i told you so." she laughed and i was off once again. it was a lot of downhill where i passed lots of people. i didn't see her again.

did the cargo net climb and some girl asked if my feet hurt. i said no and i don't remember what else. some more downhill. people were sliding and going down on their butts on one part because they couldn't get any traction and were complaining about it. i ran by them and of course had to be a smart ass. "i thought you all would have better traction than me with those things on!" i couldn't hear any response.

uphill. they didn't send me the one with my tongue out.
made it to the end. jumped the fire where i gave and awesome pose. it looks like i got some air. one of the uphills they took my pic. i stuck my tongue out but they didn't offer that one to me. got to the mud and ran through it easily. i saw that little guy again. he made it through easily also. everyone else was going slow and complaining about how hard it was to be in the mud with shoes on.

Dan doing it.


i slid down the bottom and got my pic. no cutting off my chip this year because i bought a road id. more comfortable than a zip tie. Dan came and greeted me. Zdenka brought Mury over. he sniffed me and got his face muddy. you can see him in the pic trying to rub the mud off his face. Jen came in around 10-15 mins behind us. she's just a little ocd and can't handle wearing the chip on one foot. yeah, little ocd is like being just a little pregnant.

i don't have pics of Jen because she didn't put her number on her front side. makes it hard to get your pic quickly if they can't see your number. she didn't care either. i'm not looking through them. i looked i think last year and they had over 10,000 untagged photos from people whose number they couldn't see. damn.

Dan left after this. he wanted to stay and run again with me but Zdenka said no. dad was at home and there was plumbing to be done. he gave me his chip so i could record a time and get the beer. Jen and i went and drank some beers. my feet started hurting then. they got worse and i saw a huge blood blister on my right heel. still there a week later. i slammed it down hard on a rock.

we hung out and met a new friend Katherine who kicked ass. she ran in vff's in 33 mins. i also saw my cousin and his wife. he is surprisingly still alive after flinging mud in her eye at the finish line. way to go.had some beer and met some woman who wants to run with us. i of course checked out the many women there. one walked by slowly moving towards me. i thought she was going to pet my dog when she grabbed the back of my loin cloth and lifted it up to take a look. i was shocked and excited. the guy following her said something but my ears were ringing from the shock.

there was this one really hot girl there. i walked by her a few times to get her attention but nothing. she didn't smile at all. she was dressed as a girl scout with her friends. she had an ass that would make Jlo and Beyonce jealous. there were quite a few hot women there. this is the same place i ran havoc at the hideout. hornings hideout. i did talk to some girls and when Jen walked up they turned away. damn. she made a horrible wing man. going to have to find a new one for the next race. the hulkette walked by and smiled at me. Jen said "go get her". she was oblivious that she was there with the hulk. the guy was shorter than me but his shoulders were as wide as i'm tall. ya, i don't think so.

there's the hulkette, minus hulk. they were a big group with batmn being the number one costume there.

we went home after i imbibed 3 miller lights. yeah. cheap beer sponsr instead of good local brewer. when i got home i showered and just fell apart. i couldn't believe how much i ached. i can't wait for next year. Jen even had a blast and wa laughing when she finishe. she couldn't believe that she built it in her mind to be something huge when it was easy. i guess 5 mile training runs make 3mile obstacle courses easy.
Dan getting psyched for the race.

no, i'm not doing the chicken dance. lots of rocks under water.

 i plan on making loin clothes the next trend for bf'ers. if you're thinking of running an obstacle course, do it. personally i'm avoiding spartan until they stop charging spectators. that's just beyond greed.

watch this video to see the obstacles.

last year's race.;postID=4142998418487536323;onPublishedMenu=publishedcomments;onClosedMenu=publishedcomments;postNum=25;src=postname

oh yeah. shout out to zap threads so i can win a free tshirt. ;)

1 comment:

  1. For the cheetah costume on a budget, you may want to visit the Goodwill for Cheetah print stuffed animals. Skin them and attach the pelts to your loin cloth. have fun with the face, tail, and paw placement.

    Of course, this may also scar small children for life..