Saturday, September 15, 2012

Oregon Warrior Dash 2012

i finally did it.3 years in and i got some friends to join me and i have pics as proof! hopefully they will talk others into joining. i know i got one more possibly doing it. signing up right after the race for next year gives a huge discount if you get in under their two week sale.

this year i finally wore a costume. i have always wanted to run dressed as an aztec warrior or an indian in just a loin cloth. the first year none of my family wanted to do it with me. last year no one wanted to do it with me. i looked at the clothes of aztec warriors and they wore animal skins like jaguars or made eagle headsets. the strongest fought in some elaborate outfits.

a few examples of what i mean

this year i was in LA and looked for some aztec outfits on Olivera st. i found one. $85 for a costume. no thanks. can't afford that. Jen said something about costumes and i said i would wear a loin cloth if i had one. stupid me. she of course took that as a challenge and started scouring the internet for ideas. i told her anything i wore had to be double secured so it didn't come off and scare any women and children that would be present. she was disappointed as her plan was to rig it fall off in the water and be there for the show.

after looking online and seeing some videos i told her i'll just go with a simple one. folds over from the front to the back with some underwear underneath for back up. not to difficult to make and with a rope belt it was surprisingly secure. the underwear made from the same material were for back up but worked to keep the mouse in the house.

race day. Dan came over with his family to pick me up. Jen was there and i was dressed in my, uh hum, loin clothe. i put some clothes on over it, after scaring Dan's son Lucas. Dan was painted up as a zebra warrior. he has his face and/or feet painted for every race. he brought along his paints so i could do my face and we could put the Barefoot Runners' on our backs along with a barefoot outline.

we took two cars because i wanted to stay and play. Dan had house work and his dad visiting from the old country. he wanted to stay and play but couldn't. the plan was to run it twice. my blood blistered feet said otherwise. not even the cheap alcohol made that discomfort go away.

after getting our numbers i undressed and announced to everyone " here's the money shot!". i heard laughter, a few gasps. i think a woman fainted. nevertheless it was time to bare it all.
waiting on Jen so we can get in the chute.

prerace. before Jen's freak out.

getting our backs done. with my dog getting nervous from all the people.
 Jen didn't tell her husband she signed him up for this, once again. we could have given his number to someone else but too late when we're already there. i'm sure we all have our prerace rituals. i poop at least twice before i leave my house. Jen didn't. she tried while we waited for her but people kept banging on the door and ended up knocking her water bottle down the porta potty. not someplace you want to dig into. how can you relax like that? she's a little high strung i tried to calm her down and told her we had plenty of time. half an hour.

i ran to my car because i forgot the paint in there. i wanted my back done up and Dan and Jen joined in. i wanted no question that i was barefoot. people did ask me if i was barefoot barefoot or barefoot shoes. i told them there's barefoot and then there's shoes. nothing in between. one guys girl heckled him for that. i think they're in the photo where we're all rinsing off in the "showers".

Jen had time to calm down. she was also freaking out about the race. she didn't do any strength work like she wanted. procrastination is a bitch. we got our backs done. walked Dan's family close to the finish line. dropped our bags near a tree and some other people. left my dog with Zdenka. then we got into the chute. i tried to wiggle up close but we barely made it in the chute. i think they allowed 450 people per wave. they don't count or check anyone but it was a lot of people. we had a decent spot and waited for the start.

the music was going, they shot the fire and we were off. i yelled when i crossed the start line. i yelled quite a few times. mostly when i conquered obstacles. they were a bit easier this year. everyone was saying the hills were more brutal than last year. i don't really remember because i was in bad shape last year. my time was 30s slower than last year yet i place higher. imagine that. 39.21 compare to 38.54. 816 out of almost 6000 this year and last year was 869 out of some 5500. slight improvement for me.

i definitely felt better this year. i wore my garmin. it again grossly miscalculated my distance. oh well. i kept up with Dan for most of it. i finished less than 5 minutes behind him. he didn't put his chip on. forgot. i had to walk up the hills at the end and of course i bombed all the downhills. Dan and Jen did also. after the second obstacle Dan got in front and i heard these young girls say "look, that guy is bf". i passed and then heard "so is that guy. haven't they heard of bf shoes?". ha! i wasn't slowing down to be a smart ass this time.

we climbed the bridge and there was this girl who went down facing the ladder while everyone else went on their back. i copied her and made it down fast. i already had a comment from the volunteers about my lion cloth. this time i passed a cute young girl who was yelling. i let out a yell. said something to her. thought about high fiving her but didn't. well, i also thought about grabbing her ass as well as a few others but i restrained myself. she looked at me when i ran past her and yelled out "you'll be more aerodynamic if you take that thing off!". i patted my love handles and yelled back "this is slowing me down".

i told a few of the young volunteers they shouldn't be looking at me because they were too young. i don't think they cared or maybe they weren't interested in looking at me as much as laughing at me. maybe they couldn't tell how old i am with the war paint on. i put a black hand across my face to signify power and good at hand to hand combat. red for peace and power. white, i don't remember why. blue water or lightening bolt on my forehead for speed. next time i will put the paint on at home and not in the car. the hand didn't look like much of a hand.

i remember Dan and i got to the wall with the rope climb about the same time and made it over the same time. i got there after some guy and was down before he got up. ha. we ran and i think he pulled away here. with no video i can't remember everything. i will attach a video at the end you can watch. you can also compare it to last year's race which i blogged about.

well what i remember is seeing Dan go through the barbwire. by the time i got there he was done and out of sight. Jen we had left behind at the beginning. i heard a woman yell to someone to go to the left and roll under it, so i did. i couldn't see if the guys behind me did as well but i was dizzy by the last one so i just crawled. i got out and walked until i could run. about 5 seconds.

on we went. i got to the cargo net and saw a guy running along the middle on a beam. i saw a woman try to stand and fall through the net. there were quite a few people crawling across it. i remember watching the video from last year where some kid just ran across all the rope. this guy ran on the beam so i copied him.

after that it was fairly uneventful. i wasn't passed by too many people. those that did i ended up passing again. the obstacles were fairly easy. there was one with about four logs half buried in the ground and you had to bear crawl under them. they were too close together to stand up. i got out easily and walked then ran. some guy started talking to me saying "the people who made that must have been over 5'5". they didn't plan on short people." i looked over and he was maybe 5'2" and buff. i laughed. whatever works.

after that was some ridiculous hills. i had to walk a few. there were some steep ones. going up some woman yelled at me " a real man would be naked". i could only laugh. some other guy said i must be tough. i looked at him and asked him i looked tough. no reply. i guess the face paint may have covered up my still somewhat pretty face.

the woman wound up passing me uphill and yelled at her friend " i told you i would pass him Jackie, now he's going to let me wear it." she smiled and i laughed. i told her wait for the downhill. when we went downhill i passed her and told her " i told you so." she laughed and i was off once again. it was a lot of downhill where i passed lots of people. i didn't see her again.

did the cargo net climb and some girl asked if my feet hurt. i said no and i don't remember what else. some more downhill. people were sliding and going down on their butts on one part because they couldn't get any traction and were complaining about it. i ran by them and of course had to be a smart ass. "i thought you all would have better traction than me with those things on!" i couldn't hear any response.

uphill. they didn't send me the one with my tongue out.
made it to the end. jumped the fire where i gave and awesome pose. it looks like i got some air. one of the uphills they took my pic. i stuck my tongue out but they didn't offer that one to me. got to the mud and ran through it easily. i saw that little guy again. he made it through easily also. everyone else was going slow and complaining about how hard it was to be in the mud with shoes on.

Dan doing it.


i slid down the bottom and got my pic. no cutting off my chip this year because i bought a road id. more comfortable than a zip tie. Dan came and greeted me. Zdenka brought Mury over. he sniffed me and got his face muddy. you can see him in the pic trying to rub the mud off his face. Jen came in around 10-15 mins behind us. she's just a little ocd and can't handle wearing the chip on one foot. yeah, little ocd is like being just a little pregnant.

i don't have pics of Jen because she didn't put her number on her front side. makes it hard to get your pic quickly if they can't see your number. she didn't care either. i'm not looking through them. i looked i think last year and they had over 10,000 untagged photos from people whose number they couldn't see. damn.

Dan left after this. he wanted to stay and run again with me but Zdenka said no. dad was at home and there was plumbing to be done. he gave me his chip so i could record a time and get the beer. Jen and i went and drank some beers. my feet started hurting then. they got worse and i saw a huge blood blister on my right heel. still there a week later. i slammed it down hard on a rock.

we hung out and met a new friend Katherine who kicked ass. she ran in vff's in 33 mins. i also saw my cousin and his wife. he is surprisingly still alive after flinging mud in her eye at the finish line. way to go.had some beer and met some woman who wants to run with us. i of course checked out the many women there. one walked by slowly moving towards me. i thought she was going to pet my dog when she grabbed the back of my loin cloth and lifted it up to take a look. i was shocked and excited. the guy following her said something but my ears were ringing from the shock.

there was this one really hot girl there. i walked by her a few times to get her attention but nothing. she didn't smile at all. she was dressed as a girl scout with her friends. she had an ass that would make Jlo and Beyonce jealous. there were quite a few hot women there. this is the same place i ran havoc at the hideout. hornings hideout. i did talk to some girls and when Jen walked up they turned away. damn. she made a horrible wing man. going to have to find a new one for the next race. the hulkette walked by and smiled at me. Jen said "go get her". she was oblivious that she was there with the hulk. the guy was shorter than me but his shoulders were as wide as i'm tall. ya, i don't think so.

there's the hulkette, minus hulk. they were a big group with batmn being the number one costume there.

we went home after i imbibed 3 miller lights. yeah. cheap beer sponsr instead of good local brewer. when i got home i showered and just fell apart. i couldn't believe how much i ached. i can't wait for next year. Jen even had a blast and wa laughing when she finishe. she couldn't believe that she built it in her mind to be something huge when it was easy. i guess 5 mile training runs make 3mile obstacle courses easy.
Dan getting psyched for the race.

no, i'm not doing the chicken dance. lots of rocks under water.

 i plan on making loin clothes the next trend for bf'ers. if you're thinking of running an obstacle course, do it. personally i'm avoiding spartan until they stop charging spectators. that's just beyond greed.

watch this video to see the obstacles.

last year's race.;postID=4142998418487536323;onPublishedMenu=publishedcomments;onClosedMenu=publishedcomments;postNum=25;src=postname

oh yeah. shout out to zap threads so i can win a free tshirt. ;)

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

new guys

a couple of weeks ago i got to run with a few of the new guys to the oregon brs chapter. jim i ran with a while back on the newberry entrance to wildwood. chris i just met but he has joined the group before. john is a transplant from michigan. he couldn't stand the excitement we were all stirring up on the brs so he moved to join the shenanigans.

we met at miller park in newburg. it's a private park where you pay $3 per car. we all said our hi's, paid our fees, and went on our way after a quick peek at the map. with us i noticed a shoddy. i confronted him but he was tagging along with jim. after saying no way in hell he would ever run bf, he gave it a try about three weeks later. yeah.

we were able to start out slow which suits me perfect. once we got into the woods we started speeding up slightly. we hit the hills and i was left with two choices. stay slow and possibly get lost or speed up and start a new cycle of training. i chose to speed up.

it's only a month away from the warrior dash so i hit the hills keeping right behind john. he's been running for many years and i think about 4 bf. he ran pretty strong while i was breathing quite heavy. chris was pretty close to us while jen and jim dropped further back with his friend tony. we didn't let them get too far out of sight though.

afer what seemed like a good mile and a half uphill we finally went down. we wound up on the road that was the main entrance. john and i were bf so we walked down the lovely gravel road. the others caught up to us and we said our goodbyes to john in the parking lot. he had to go to the airport. lucky him.

jen promised us beer. she's on probation. if you're going to bring beer to a gathering you put it in a cooler and keep it cold. she did neither. she had it in her trunk for over a month. getting hot and sloshed around the whole time. when she said this i had already taken a big drink. post run it hit me hard because while i bitched i still drank.

jen got hammered right away. she and i had chris laughing so hard at us he almost hit the floor. we were being so goofy jim felt the need to use his phone to take pics and video. she was working trigger points out of my, leg. i had to hamm it up when i noticed jim taking pics. enjoy.

trigger point in the buttocks. yeah right.

this really does feel good.

john and chris prerun.

TP in my leg.

getting silly now.

even sillier.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Havoc at the hideout

Havoc at the hideout. Two years in a row this race has owned me. Not just does it own me but i'm quite sure if I have another child it will come out and slap me for taking part in this race. This is the second race of the year in a series put on by xdog.

Xdog puts on a series of cross country races throughout the year. Some would call them trail races. I now call them bushwacking. Even though they have gone through and cleared a path, you're still knocking bushes out of your way. Hell, I had to back track once because I followed someone who took me the wrong way, even though we were warned not to follow anyone, I stepped in some stinging nettels. So did she so ha.

The race director made his announcements at the beginning of the race. Telling us don't follow people in case they go the wrong way. Following the trail was part of the challenge. He also told us there are two kinds of people that come. Those who go to one event and then continue coming to every event and those who never come back again.

This was the second bf race I did last year. I remember it being hard because of all the rain. There was mud everywhere. My feet were cut up from sliding in the mud over the rocks. It was hard, I fell a couple of times, yet I had a blast. I even finished with a smile on my face.

finishing last years race in good spirits.

I can tell you right now that wasn't the case this year. I was so relieved when I finished. I came into this race thinking I would improve my time over last year and do much better. That wasn't meant to be. Yeah, the course was dry but it certainly wasn't any easier. I almost feel it was harder. Especially running down the hard pack dirt road with all the tiny gravel bits spread out on it. It wasn't any easier last year but it definitely hurt more this time.

I remember running more of the course last year than this time. When I got to the big hill that I could barely crawl up last year, I was already reduced to walking. I made it up but was a bit disapointed that I had already been walking. I've been doing maf training. How the hell can I be in worse shape? Why wasn't I running? Dry conditions should be easier, right?

Apparantly not so. One guy hobbled by me. He hurt his ankle but I didn't ask him if he did it during the race or before. Everyone was suffering and complaining through this. I don't really remember passing anyone like I normally do. Oh well. This is how racing goes. Anyway possible but the way you wanted it to.

I learned my lesson from the last race. It was also too hot so I left mury with dan's wife and son. They played with him. I'm grateful that not only they went but agreed to watch him for me. 

mid race doing the required "X". i didn't put my arms high enough.
post race with a scared dog. 

this year's finish. i was done with this race before i crossed the finish line. it looks even funnier up close because of how puffed out my face is from exhaling so hard.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


i've ran a few races since my last post. it sucks not having your own connection. in the fall i start at my new school. let's see if i'll have more time to blog then. if i even have things to blog about other that running and studying.

after the shamrock i did the bridge to brews. i did the 10k with dan. jen had signed herself and david for the 8k. since he had no clue he didn't run and jen hurt herself so she didn't run either. wish she would've said something earlier so we could've given those numbers to other friends. oh well.

i was so looking forward to this race. for some reason it didn't live up to the expectations i gave it. running over the freemont was pretty cool. i passed a lot of people and got passed a few times. once the two races came together it was tough to tell who was passing me. only notice one pair of vffs. talked to one guy i thin at the beginning. once i told him i have no callouses and he was working harder than he had to, he ran away from me. fast.

i had a few beers after with dan and his son, no, the boy drank root beer. jen, dan, my friends james, his wife and her friend who ran the race. i guess the next highlight was when they gave me a ride to my car i stepped up to a tree in the street and just peed. these people in the car in front just laughed. i was a bit drunker than i realized. i'm going to have to limit myself to three beers post race unless i have a ride. or i eaten a big breakfast before i race.

dan, me, lucas, me and jen with david in the background. only pics i have from both races!

the next race was the cinco de mayo race on international barefoot running day. only jen and david ran with me. well, they did the 5k and i did the 10k. those two races joined together. maybe even the half joined up as well. the half got to enjoy a train going through their race giving everyone 25 minutes added to their run. i think it just happened again recently.

i have to blame nick for me no longer enjoying these road races. we ran the shamrock together for the first 6 miles and it was great. we talked the whole way and even with other runners. running alone has been boring now. not too many people talk to me and the ones that do are usually struggling to keep their own pace. no way i'm slowing down unless they are seriously curious. even then i may get shy and forget to tell them things they should know.

got my two free beers at this race and drank one of davids. talked to some women about adding in bf'n to her training. while i was running away from jen for some reason these girls talked to me and told me i'm famous. they always check my feet to see what color i've painted my toenails. nice.

after much searching i only found the one pic. for bridge to brews i painted my toenails gold with flakes. cinco de mayo i went green on my big toes with white in the middle two and red the last two. they looked awesome and i can't believe i don't have pics of them. lets see if jen reads this and sends me some pics after.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

dirt dash

the dirt dash at hagg lake was the first bf race i did last year. so when registration opened for this year i had to sign up. since i saw some people with their dogs last year i decided to take mury with me. he could handle running 5.3 miles no problem. he's a tough little bastard. well, at least he can run a lot for such a little dog.

i got there a little later than i had wanted. i screwed around too much in the morning and decided i needed to clean my bathroom before i left. it did need it but i could have done it another time. so no warm up run and another pre race poop was in order. horrible thing was the toilet didn't flush. gross.

we lined up in the back. some guy asked me why i was running bf. i told him because it's fun and easier. then i noticed i didn't have my hr monitor on. crap. i though i packed it. i ran and checked my bag but i looked in the wrong pocket. i had it but didn't see it.

some other girls ran with a black lab. i passed them slowly on the start. i didn't mind starting so far back. last year when it broke onto the trail there was a pile up and we just walked the first little section downhill, too many people to run. this year way less people and way more mud. it was the wettest march in history.

mury struggled right away to keep up with me. the mud was deep. i watched him jumping through it. it came to his belly. he was not happy at all about running this. the previous saturday was his first race. he wasn't happy with either so i won't make him do anymore. he likes to run free and in this race he did. maybe it was the mud or the people, either way it was his last race.

i passed a lot of people and don't remember anyone passing me. last year i fell twice. this year i set an unbreakable record of six falls. yup. mud. this one guy i passed in vff's told me he fell twice. i told him i was at 4. he said i have to catch up. i told him he doesn't want my record and he agreed.

no other great moments here. just was a fun race to be back at. when it was over i went in the lake to rinse off and tried to get mury to follow. he got stuck in the grass and water. he wasn't happy about that. i wasn't too happy that after i got in the lake i noticed a water hose next to the bathroom where everyone was rinsing off. i took mury there. poor guy was shaking and cold. since they only had horribly cheap beer there we took off and spent the day with my mom.

there are some pics of us online on the xdog website but i'm to broke to buy those and post them here so see if you can find us if you're curious.
after the beginning. mury chasing me in the background.

he was even madder than this at the end.

i'm on that page and mury is on the following. if you look closely yo can see him far behind me. i went alone this year. had some fun but not an epic day.

Friday, April 13, 2012

foot traffic 5k

so this running shoe store opened up next to my work. cassie told me she was going to run the 5k so i thought i would join her. she didn't make it but mury and i did. i didn't get there as early as i hoped, i know it's a recurring theme with me.

i talked to the owner for a bit while mury followed his dog around. i was trying to walk around and warm up when the chef called me to come move my car. another person parked in the back wanted to leave. crap. i didn't think anyone would want to leave before all the festivities. i told him to grab my keys inside the pocket and move it. he did.

mury and i got near the starting line. i didn't really notice it was on the sidewalk. we were in the street and this pretty woman came over and started talking to me. i quickly checked. yup, huge rock on her hand. oh well. she wanted to know if i was running in my sandals and i told her i''m not sure. which i wasn't. it would be my third day in a row bf.

the owner started the race and called for all the fast people. he said basically if you're going to run 9m/m or below to go now so you don't run anyone over. i lined up. sadly we were behind a buch of young girls who weren't starting. i had to bust through them. i heard quite a few people yelling out that i was bf.

i stopped once to let mury do his thing. he kept up with me but i had to tugg can call him to keep him going. i saw the same woman passing me on the way back and she smiled. sadly i didn't see her at the store. when we finished mury refused to move. i let him off leash and started walking away. he followed me then but was just done with the leash.

we went to the store to check out the unveiling of big foot. the named him something like furberto salasquatch. don't quote me on that. i'm sure i got the first name right, not sure about the last name. it was a fun little race and i got faster. 2.5 minutes faster than the jingle bell 5k in december. that's quite and improvement. this maf training is paying off.

shamrock run

no more free home internet. that's right. i had free internet. no, i wasn't stealing. in order to steal you have to sneak and not want to be seen what you're taking. this was more of a gift. they had no lock on their wifi so i used it. was it nice? nah but it's over.

i ran the shamrock 15k with nick. we kept an easy pace going from the back. we got passed by everyone who was even further behind us. sad but i was trying to keep an easy pace and steadily speed up. nick was in some pain and didn't want to hurt himself more. we were fine with our slow pace. i wanted to start out well below my maf pace and just be over it into nearly race pace by the end. didn't work that way. i was in my maf zone when we crossed the starting line. nervous energy.

some guy at the start came behind me and said "dude, you're insane!". i just looked at him with a big smile and said "no, i'm crazy, you and everyone else here is insane running in those high heels." he got a confused look on his face. kind of like he didn't know if i was joking or he should punch me. lucky for both he just took off running faster. don't make smart ass comments if you can't play.

maybe about mile two nick had to stop for a business call. he didn't take them all before the race so we stopped at some coffee shop on Broadway. we weren't the only ones either. we ran through the pearl district before that and some bystander yelled at me " you're going to catch a cold!" i yelled back "so because you wear shoes you don't get sick?" he just laughed.

as we left the coffee shop the road had some incline. i told nick he sped up. he looked at me confused and said "no, you slowed down." damn. my ruse didn't work. i am slow uphill. very slow. since we kept a slow pace i decided to keep up with him. it paid off.

we went into the hills and were passing everyone. we passed a girl who sped up to talk to us. she told us she just spent $150 on some new shoes and here we were passing her bf and in huaraches. she wasn't happy. stupid us didn't give her details to join the brs.

nick had told me he had planned to speed up on the downhill and leave me behind. i just smiled. when we started downhill he couldn't keep up with me. i called for him to speed up and he just smiled. i love running downhill. it's the only time i can truly run fast. i let go a bit. my hr never got above 180. i could've gone faster a few times. i passed MANY people. one girl had a nice ass. i almost slowed down just to watch but kept on going. i gave one girl the thumbs up who was wearing some vff's. she was struggling. i hope my little bit of encouragement helped her.

at the finish line was the same thing. everyone standing right there instead of getting the hell out of the way. why is that? don't you know people are coming in and some are coming in fast? move. i did see Jesus at the finish. i asked him why was he wearing some Nike's. disappointing.

i waited on the side for nick. we never met up with Cassie, Dan, Jen, and Kevin. nick got to my place a little late and i parked too far away. i thought i picked a good meeting spot but where nick and i came from it was closer to the start then the other peeps were. i called them to meet us there but with 32,000 people we never met until the end. we saw Dan at the bag drop just freezing. it had rained lightly and Jen had dropped his clothes. bad move. i make sure to drop mine since everyone comes in at different times. i barely recognized Dan until he stared at me and smiled. see.

post race with fellow brs'ers

 OK, i can't rotate that pic. sorry but i'm just not that tech savvy. i painted my toenails green for this race. Jen made us tutu's but we didn't meet her so sadly i didn't get to race in a gloriously ridiculous outfit.

after drinking countless beers, they always find a way into my hands from strangers and me just grabbing them. we took off for some lunch. one reason i like to park far from the race is to have time to sober up while walking. it helps. what didn't help this time was seeing these two girls telling us this story that they got robbed while looking for a place to park before the race. some bum reached into the car. he was moving around so much they didn't notice him reach in to the back and take their purses. no racing, no purse, no charges. they had such a fun morning. i pet the girls dog in the beer garden because he was big with a Mohawk. I've never seen that before. i offered to buy them lunch. of course nothing came of it but a good conversation. well, at least i had some fun.